The hour is late and consumed now seem the thousands of words that have been spoken out, prior to this moment where parting from each other looks inevitable.
And whilst efforts were requested from both sides, in truth, the scales were never even. For they were always being pulled down in your favor by the many scars you carry with you and which the surface of your body fatefully attests for, if one cares to consider.
What a silly little girl she now seems to be, when she recalls how far she followed you and ultimately how little more she is now left with.
For with you, she was prepared to go to placeless places she had never been. For you, she had willingly opened her heart like a child who flies the kite for the first time. And by you, she stood and would continue doing so, like the misunderstood Viking angel warrior you would one day comprehend, or so she thought…
And yet if not her, then, did she righteously ask herself, who ever will?
Who will ever want to know you, once you unleash your darkest secrets? And be sure to know that in this life, you will inevitably have to share them all, if you ever wish to pretend to ‘true love’.
She did. she followed without ever turning her back and like the unknown hero of something that was much bigger than her at the time, she dared to face a truth that was ever so dark and that would inexorably make millions tremble. The sort of truth she could have never forecasted when the journey began and with it, ‘the all or nothing’ as she once claimed.
Who will ever want to stay with you, once they meet your inner demons?
And be sure they will…
She did. She fought and She fought, and She fought even more without ever tiring, as long as there was hope. For, with certainty, hope is one of her core lights, if only you had spared little time knowing her inner self more. And so, changes happened, and hope was served well, for most of your monsters disappeared with time. All, except the last one. A nameless old inner battle of yours that would always come out faster than the speed of light, once unleashed. But first and foremost, a last torment which only you could deal with and in the harshest possible way, so it disappears forever more.
But a sadder truth is if the story of you both was to ever to be told, undoubtedly, most people would recall the deeds and choice of hers, a true and noble act of love. You never did. Proving your points and arguments fueled by that inner torment of yours, was always more important than whatever battle you both had won. As if small details mattered more than whatever beautiful things you both had accomplished within the macro of your voyage.
And so, it is that old inner Judas of yours who will have won over her and a final stroke that shook her enough to put her on the ground. And despite the tears that followed and the pain within and the words of hopelessness which were thrown at you and which many men would have recognized to be a call for the ultimate fight for love this journey must have so far, you simply ignored her. You turned and fled. And with this concluding act, you turned off her light.
As the sun now sets, this final moment begs to ask the ultimate question as to why did you not simply left her to be before you bonded with her? And where is the soundness in wanting a person so hard, for so long and by day but also sometimes by night and once you have gained her love, her trust and some of her power she so freely gives you, to do so little to cherish it and keep it like a life treasure?
In the grander scheme of things, she also wishes to say to you there is no point in this life of yours which you have filled with hundreds of people, women, and experience, if when faced to one solid and true human experience, you act as if you had lived seclusively in a cave for most of your living. And would it not make more sense that, throughout all the stories that you have touched and accumulated, including your own, you be the quintessence of the best humans have to offer while we still live?
In this realm of ours, the universe still freely gives second chances to specie like you. And yet, what is to become of our world, if people no longer want to play along and be the key players, hence the givers of such chances, for the hurt is too great?
Like you, in this life, she has seen much and with it, she has felt even more, henceforth be sure that she shall heal. But also know that instead of having been the crucial one that would powerfully contribute to her body and soul and ultimately conquer it all, she shall now remember you merely as the one who let it go. Instead of embracing the person that she was, you tried to shut it down and you hurt it in ways that are forbidden for species like herself.
For truthfully, you were indeed her vulnerably since the day she decided to live this epic story till the end and a better one, as she hoped for. But it is also a weakness she shall never regret having given you, for this is the only way love will ever be able to create a magnus opus between two people, if it is so written. Be it now and forever and amen to it all!